The Myth & The Majesty

I despise the chicken dance. [The stuff of nightmares right here.] This really has little with how I feel about weddings but I think it needs to be said. I hate it. I understand its purpose -- everybody knows it, everybody can dance to it, and by all means, a fairly large part of the population seems to enjoy it. However, it's about five minutes too long. Moreover, I think that after 50-some weddings, of which only six or seven did not have dances following dinner, and probably 75% of which played that song, I'm allowed to hate it. But this chicken dance issue of mine plays to a certain problem that tends to run rampant through weddings, one that has made me say repeatedly that with every wedding I attend my own theoretical wedding gets smaller. [It's gotten so small now that it doesn't even include a groom!] Brides and grooms of the world (particularly the US) -- stop torturing your guests! There are a lot of ways that this happens, but they boil dow...

The wedding day began like every other wedding day I've ever witnessed: early. The location was across the city and since we were hauling ... everything with us, Jay called for a taxi and we rode through the early Sunday traffic (read: not much of it) from the relative comfort of a vehicle made for six passengers. Upon arrival, we were ushered through steam tunnels (the park wasn't actually open yet) to our prep room. Mia Sorella got settled in right away and the guys left to find coffee instead of spending the entire morning bored out of their skulls. Mom and I stuck around to chat and kick back, reading or playing games while we waited. In other words, it was an exceptionally unexceptional wedding morning. The modern bride. Eventually, we got ready ourselves. (Note: I'm wearing something very similar to my mom's dress. I quite literally have zero pictures of myself.) Now, a few things by way of explanation. The ceremony is meant to mirror a t...

In 2004, I worked with ten fantastic summer folks out at Storm. At the time, we were all young and mostly unattached. This past weekend, I attended the wedding of one of those coworkers. This time it was Emilie, the youngest of the 2004 crowd. It was a beautiful wedding -- fairly simple (as in "not extravagant") and not overly large, although longer than most Protestant weddings I've had the privilege of attending. They included a foot-washing ceremony in lieu of a unity candle, which was something I'd never seen before. Emilie was gorgeous, as always, and the wedding party was hilarious. What I found particularly cool was that they only had siblings standing up for them -- her three sisters and his three brothers. It got me to thinking, though. The group's single population has been slowly thinning. I think [although not with much certainty] April was first, followed closely by Kellie. Dyan came next. Somewhere in there, Sarah left to become a nun. Then ...

I'm taking advantage of the fact that, for the first time in my entire life, it's Saturday and I don't have a wedding to go to. - Hugh Grant in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" This past weekend held the last wedding I'll be attending (I think) of 2010. This puts me at 30-something weddings attended in the last six years. While I know several people who have been to a lot more than that, it's still a respectable record and it provides a wealth of empirical data. With this in mind, I started compiling a few statistics. - Contrary to the "27 Dresses" cliche, none were theme weddings. - Six were dry weddings. ("Dry" as in there was no official alcohol consumption by the wedding party at any point. At least one had a dry reception followed by drinks at a bar; that one isn't included in this count.) - The largest wedding party I've seen had seven on each side. Two had no attendants. The average is about four. - I've see...

Well. You're going to get a blow-by-blow because there's just no other way to describe the last few days. It started on Wednesday. The second day of rain with more projected, we got an email warning us that flood procedures were being reviewed and may be put into effect. You see, my workplace happens to lie in a floodplain. It's protected by berms between us and the river (and between us and some of the higher ground on other sides) but given where the river was expected to crest, it could very well turn said berms into a bowl instead and flood our buildings. Anyway, this warning came on Wednesday. On Thursday, E-Train and the Admiral happened to appear for a couple days of weddings. That afternoon, we were informed that we should turn up for work on Friday ready to move chemicals uphill and fill sandbags. When I left work, that was where things stood. I had just settled in to have dinner with the boys and Neubs when my phone buzzed at me with a message. It was fr...

Well, Nicole and Justin got married yesterday -- and today's the party! Much fun will be had by all, I'm sure ... Especially if the weather cooperates and the snow holds off. I don't know how lucky we'll get, though. It's kind of funny. E-Train's wedding was this same weekend last year and they had perfect weather. Absolutely perfect. Seventies, sunny most of the time, wedding on the river. But, well, you can't expect that to happen two years in a row. This time we're bundling up. Justin recommended dressing for the weather, not the reception, and I think that was fantastic advice. Anyway! I should be at home, getting a few things together for tonight. Emphasis on "should." I've been out since sometime mid-morning, running errands and such instead, including this current stop at the B ... again ... for Internet access. I have been here enough in the last week that every -- EVERY -- employee recognizes me now. It used to just be a few of the...

This may be one of my favorite group photos yet. (Roughly two-thirds of the original Cool Table.)

Let me tell you a story. A long, long time ago in Ashleyland, I was a shy, awkward girl in high school who had absolutely no nerve when it came to the male species. And it wasn't going to be long before I headed off to school at Mines, where I would be surrounded by boys. Constantly. Where I didn't know a soul. Enter my friend Jessica. Her best friend's brother would also be starting at Mines the following fall and he didn't really know anyone there. He would be getting back from basic training soon. The girls got a great idea: let's set up Ashley and Friend's Brother on a blind date! They'll get along great, and then they'll each know someone at Mines. So they did. And in April of 2002, shortly before I spent a few days in New York City, I went on a blind date. With Jessica's friend's brother, Andy. Despite a disasterous start (there was a mix-up as far as where we were supposed to meet ... he only got half the message) and a poor after-dinner m...

This past weekend held Road Trip #2 for the summer to the beautiful LaCrosse/LaCrescent area for Bridget and Evan's wedding. And let me tell you -- it was an awesome weekend. It started with a 3-hour drive (yeah, this was convenient for yours truly) and a happy reunion with Ashli (my "other half" for the weekend). After a couple of hours of catching up in Caledonia, MN, we were joined by the wedding party ... including two guys that we started school with but haven't seen for quite awhile. We were -- how did Ashli put it? -- boy band excited to see them. Quick story: The first week of school freshman year, there was a concert in the quad. Ashli and I, already hall buddies (partially due to our respective roommates) decided to check it out together. At some point fairly early on, we turned around and tada! there were these two guys behind us -- Josh from Vermont and Colt (most recently) from Texas. Long story shorter, we've been friends ever since. These guys were ...

Tonight I feel ambitious and so does my foot as it sinks on the pedal; I press it to the floor ... The night is beckoning although I have nowhere to go but home -- feels good to be alone. With every turn comes a new frame of mind; if I could frame my mind, where would it hang? ... This is an open road song ... 3 days. 21 hours in a vehicle. 1,453 miles. 46 gallons of gas. 4 random meals, 4 fast-food meals, two soccer games, and one wedding. Two replaced brake pads. Well I had a dream I stood beneath an orange sky. What a weekend. It started in Wausau, landed in Minneapolis for a night and a good chunk of Saturday, moved to Sioux Falls for about 14 hours, then ran to Pierre for another 18. It ended back in Wausau, 75 hours after it had started. Welcome to the beautiful ... The drive was green and gorgeous all the way across. Even eastern South Dakota looked good -- something I haven't willingly admitted in several years. The flat, open space and lengths of highway made me a little n...

**Pictures to be added when I can download them back at camp!** 6:30AM: My alarm goes off. I grumble at it and hit "snooze." 6:50AM: Okay, okay, I'm up. Don't have THAT long to get ready to go. 7:40AM: On the road again ... It's been so long since I last made this drive. I hope I remembered right and it only takes 20 minutes. ... 7:47AM: Wow, has it been awhile. So many odd memories, usually involving cars moving too fast ... Car tag, and "story time" with Nick after he got followed by a certifiably crazy dude through a cornfield ... Hee hee. Love this stretch of road. 9:00AM: Well, I've been sitting here waiting for an hour, and now they're working on my hair. Lord only knows how long this will take ... So many curls ... 9:22AM: Yeah. I'm stuck in this chair for the foreseeable future. 10:07AM: Woot! Done! 12:03PM: Not that this hanging out waiting for everybody else to get done hasn't been fun, but it's good to be moving on to the n...

Spork and Sarah are married! How weird is that ... The wedding was beautiful, the reception was pretty cool (and the steak was awesome), and now it's back to real life. Actually, the weekend as a whole was beyond psychotic. After work on Friday I headed to Storm to catch Eric for a little while and meet his new girlfriend. I have to say, Eric, she's pretty cool. Maybe it's the math major thing. :) Didn't end up leaving until 2:30 in the morning, at which point it was useless to go to bed. Barb and I left RC at 6:30 to pick up Ashli and head to Iowa for the wedding, and I got a little sleep between Wall and Chamberlain (a little under a two-hour drive). Unfortunately, that was all for the day. Egads. We booked it to SuFu, where we met up with Andy and continued on to Iowa. The wedding was held in the best-looking little town I've ever seen (it was almost frightening), and after the reception we headed back to SuFu for the night. I deserted the other three an...