The Myth & The Majesty

This is a broken car door handle. It's been a thorn in my side for a few years now. Why? Well, at one point I would have said it was too expensive to fix and therefore it was very low priority. Recently, however, I needed to replace my front brakes. Let's talk about things that are too expensive. Egads. This time, though, I realized I had the time to take care of it myself, and after a fair bit of research (that is, watching videos on YouTube) I realized I could probably do my brakes myself. A few parts, a couple hours, and voila -- brakes! Which is what brings me here today. You see, I'm not really a DIY person (whether that was car stuff or other stuff) and there are a lot of things out there that I used to only purchase. Over time, however, I've realized how much of it I can take care of myself in a shorter time for a lot less money, whether it's fixing something or making something from scratch. I'll admit, I have an  unfair advantage : ...

When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield You know what? This isn't a fun topic. I don't enjoy moving. I am well aware that I am not alone in that feeling, and perhaps that's why I've struggled for the last four weeks to finish this dumb post. From the packing and the loading and the cleaning to the more packing and loading and cleaning, it's a tedious, un-fun activity. Sure, there are high points (the rediscovery of lost things can be fun, and I enjoyed the heck out of purging entire boxes of stuff) but in the end you're still exhausted and your things are still in disarray. And my stuff? It's all in disarray. If you're lucky, you then get to take said things to a new place and begin undoing all that work you just did. If you're not lucky, said things sit and wait, hopefully in a place that's dry and relatively temperature-controlled. (If you're really unlucky... well, use your ima...

A few years back, I posted my Top 10 Single Woman travel tips. In a bit of a twist, I read those again this week and ... they haven't changed. I stand by every one of them and I'm genuinely surprised. However, if I were to write that post again I'd probably expand it and add a few more. Turns out after a few good-sized road trips (and another one in the works) I've actually learned some new things. Crazy, isn't it? Anyway. Here are a few more things I'm considering as I plan my upcoming trip this fall. 1. As Andi commented way back then, make sure someone knows your itinerary. Keep in mind that this isn't just for your safety -- it's also so that, in the event of an emergency back home, someone can get you a message within a day if your cellphone is dead or just plain out of service. When I go for my longer trips, I talk to my mom more than on an average week, partially because the miles get long but also so that someone knows where(ish) I am. ...

Jonah Hill, continuing to make Jason Segal uncomfortable. (Universal Pictures) Matthew the Waiter: Hey, how's it going? Peter Bretter: Hey, I'd like to grab some dinner, please. Matthew: Okay, great. Is your wife gonna meet you? Peter: No. Matthew: Your girlfriend? Peter: No, I don't have a girlfriend, so... Matthew: [confused] You're just by yourself? Peter: Yeah. Matthew: Sucks. Okay, so just one. Here's your wine list, your menu, come on. You want, like, a magazine or something? It's gonna be boring if you're just sitting by yourself. Peter: No, I'll be alright. Thank you. Matthew: I would just be so depressed. ("Forgetting Sarah Marshall." Yeah, that's right. I just quoted that . I swear, it's relevant.) I had coffee with one of my single friends a few weeks back and we got onto the topic of "Things To Do When You're Single." More accurately, we were talking about things that should be experienced and one ...

In between my job searches, You-Tube-stolen-time (I blame the Old Spice Guy vs. Fabio thing, and I can't believe I just admitted that one publicly), and that working thing I do occasionally, I've been thinking about baby gifts for a couple of expecting friends. Back in 2004 when I started going to weddings, I kind of forgot that little jingle we sang in elementary school. You know -- "First comes love, then comes marriage..." Since then, something like three-quarters of the couples whose weddings I've attended have started having kids. Not surprising, given that the madness started seven years ago and most people don't actually wait that long to start a family. In the last year, there's been a veritable baby boom. I don't know if people are just hitting "that age" or if they're suddenly feeling more secure in their jobs (hey, there weren't as many babies in '08 and '09, and I know some of those were just people feeling ski...

Well! Here's a topic I had hoped I wouldn't really experience -- but since I'm currently in the midst of said experience, it would be selfish of me to keep this new knowledge to myself. Some of this is my own -- some of it comes from people wiser than me who have been through it already. All of it is worth repeating. So here we go. * It happened. Your workplace is having difficulty recovering from this lovely recession and you find yourself amongst the crowd unceremoniously let go. Just like that, you're on the curb, wondering what the heck happened and what's going to happen next. Maybe you're panicking a little -- your income is zero. As a single woman, you don't have a husband there to lean on while you find a new job. Maybe you're angry. Maybe you're relieved. None of it changes your scenario. You are now unemployed. Before I go any more into this, I'd like to lay out a few things. I'm assuming this was at least moderately unexpe...

[T his falls into the "rant" category. Wholeheartedly.] As an engineer, half of my job description is in making assumptions. Assuming that heat exchangers perform at a certain efficiency or better, assuming that the waste we're treating is at a nearly constant concentration, assuming that I don't lose more heat than "x" amount going through the piping. Ask any engineer. We live and die by assumptions. They are required for us to do our jobs in any form of non-theoretical, logical, timely manner. That being said, there are times and places for assumptions. Now, what's been alarming me lately are the assumptions people are making about me based simply on my marital status. Just to give you an idea, here are a few of the things I've been told in recent history -- not asked, mind you, but told : 1. I must be bored. 2. I must be lonely. 3. I must be looking for a boyfriend. 4. My "talents" are going to waste. (This one was referring ...

Guys have a tendency to point out that we girls have checklists ... and generally speaking, we do. I talked about it a little here , but I realized that there has to be a better way to illustrate these things. Now, I give you The Mindset. This is what I picture when I think about the possibility of a long-term relationship in Wausau. Brace yourself. --- (We see a large, stark white room. No one is there yet and to be perfectly honest we're not really sure what's going on.) Voiceover. Let's take the population of Wausau. (A large crowd of people appears, à la Verizon Wireless commercials. Thousands, fading into the background in relative obscurity. As they're called out, they fall away like trap doors have opened directly underneath them.) Voiceover. First of all, I'm only into men. (All women fall out of the frame. A few of them yelp.) Straight men. (About ten percent of the men disappear.) And unmarried ones, at that. (Half of the remaining men fall ou...

This post contains a lot more detailed information than usual and is, in fact, supplemental to a previous post of mine . Read this new post if you're interested in learning where to trim. The moral of the story is: research, research, research. The other moral is to not give away your moral before people have heard the story. I obviously ignored that one. I decided to do some number crunching today. (Imagine that -- me opting to crunch numbers. Who'da thunk it.) It didn't take long for me to realize that a) I am my mother's daughter, and b) that makes going on vacation much more affordable. When I started thinking about going to England, I budgeted a fair chunk of change, figuring for a huge plane ticket, a train pass for the week, and six nights in a hotel. I had no idea what to truly expect when it first occurred to me that I could actually take this trip. Then the whittling process started. I waited to buy my plane ticket ... First, because the stic...

As much as I dislike the holiday, I give it way too much press. I know this. I also know that I loved it when I was much younger -- so there's some conflict there. Here's the thing: like so many things, the thought behind Valentine's Day is good. It's a day set aside for love, for recognizing and encouraging romance. That’s a great idea. Alas, like so many things, that thought has been twisted. You want to talk about commercialism? About the wrong things being blown out of proportion? Holy cow. This is one holiday where I am, in a lot of ways, relieved to be single. Because, believe it or not, it's almost harder to be a woman in a relationship wanting things equal on V-Day than it is to be single on V-Day. Granted, there are a lot of women who don’t necessarily want things equal (it could easily be called "Girlfriends' Day"), but for the rest of us it can be a tremendous chore. I digress! This is supposed to be about surviving Valentine's...

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the holidays can be rough on a single chick. Even the relatives that normally respect your singleness might ask nosy questions, try to set you up with someone, or worse -- feel sorry for you. The truth is that you're going to hear that the holidays are intended for family and friends and those are easiest to find when you've got that built in family-friend of a spouse. So how does an eternally single chick cope? First of all, it's easier if you acknowledge that it might not be easy , no matter how spectacular, cute, unendingly confident, and generally awesome you are. When you're only grocery shopping and can't avoid the constant bombardment of advertising aimed at convincing you to please that nonexistent horde of children that must be at your house, you know it's going to be a rough half hour. You don't have to give in to it and wallow in self-pity, but you can save yourself the denial stage an...

I will be headed to wedding number 20 (since May of 2004) this coming weekend. In honor of that, I thought I would finally post the very first SWG2L that I ever wrote. It's been waiting for me to finish it for over a year now. Without further ado, here we go! ---------------- It was bound to happen. They'd been dating for awhile, got engaged, and now you have the invitation in your hands. But you're single and suddenly feeling vulnerable and awkward. The truth is that weddings can be weird for single women, especially if the bride or her friends are huge into matchmaking and are already telling you about this groomsman or that cousin that you just have to meet. But they're also fun and you'd like to show your congratulations for the couple. Like so many things, a little preparedness can go a long way. Putting some extra thought into your plans can make all the difference. To Go Or Not To Go? This is the first thing with which you're likely to wr...

The night is beckoning although I have nowhere to go but home F eels good to be alone With every turn comes a new frame of mind if I could frame my mind Where would it hang? I crack a window and feel the cool air cleanse my every pore As I pour my poor heart out To a radio song that’s patient and willing to listen My volume drowns it out Yeah, but that’s okay cause I sound better than him anyway any day Yeah my voice is sweet as salt I search for comfort and I’ve found it where I’ve found it many times before Times before can be forgotten My pile shakes as I hit eighty on the open road This is an open road song -Eve 6, “Open Road Song” I love to travel. Love it. I love the road trips involved and exploring new towns and finding out-of-the-way coffee shops and striking up conversations with random strangers. I love public transportation and the people you can meet while sitting on a plane. I love hotels and motels and campgrounds. I love to travel. In the last couple of years, I have be...

If we were to really get into cooking, I could probably start a whole new blog. I love to cook. I started learning when I was physically able to stir and I love experimenting now (which leads to a lot more interesting food stories than most people want to hear). Instead, we’re going to do what is mostly the norm with The Guide and cover the basics. Contrary to popular belief, there isn’t a lot of "stuff" necessary. My dishes haven’t changed a lot since college (with the exception of my stand mixer -- a dream come true). I made it through college with: - One mixing bowl. - One frying pan. - One sauce pan. - One cookie sheet. - Two bread loaf pans. - One wooden spoon. - One spatula. - One set of silverware (stolen from the cafeteria), a plate, and a bowl. [Author's note: This blog does not condone stealing silverware or anything else, even if it's from a place that takes the equivalent of a part- or full-time job's paycheck from you for several years.] Almost all of...

“So why aren’t you married?” I should have known that it was only a matter of time before someone asked me the most awkward question possible. I had been in Wausau for almost two months; it was a Sunday, and I was at church. It was only my third week there and I had just been introduced to a very friendly older woman. But she, like so many others, switched from “Well, you’re interesting” to “Are you an alien?” once she realized that I was a single female engineer from out of state. I had gotten that look so many times already -- but she was the first to take it a step further and ask the question. It was my own fault. I had described Tech by its ratio, which is never a good idea if you’re trying to avoid awkwardness. And she had come to the conclusion that there must be something desperately wrong with me. I mean, who spends four years in the company of mostly eligible men and comes out unattached? In this particular instance, I was able to laugh it off -- after a stuttering moment. S...

Before we get into specifics, let’s cover a few basics. Following is a list of things that I think every single woman (everybody, really, but single women in particular) should know. 1. Basic and emergency vehicle maintenance. Okay. Depending on your upbringing, you might know how to rebuild an engine ... or not be able to locate the gas cap. The full truth is that, as our society gets more and more specialized, we tend to rely more on roadside assistance than our own abilities. In order to save face, there are a few things everyone (single, married, male, or female) who owns and/or regularly operates a vehicle should know. a. How to change a tire. This isn’t a how-to; find someone who knows and have them teach you. Like right now. There are places where you won’t be guaranteed cell phone reception, and it is almost inevitable that things will go wrong right then. Know where to find your spare tire, the jack, and the lug wrench thing, and how to use each piece. As soon as you can, get...