SWG2L: Baby Showers
In between my job searches, You-Tube-stolen-time (I blame the Old Spice Guy vs. Fabio thing, and I can't believe I just admitted that one publicly), and that working thing I do occasionally, I've been thinking about baby gifts for a couple of expecting friends.
Back in 2004 when I started going to weddings, I kind of forgot that little jingle we sang in elementary school. You know -- "First comes love, then comes marriage..." Since then, something like three-quarters of the couples whose weddings I've attended have started having kids. Not surprising, given that the madness started seven years ago and most people don't actually wait that long to start a family.
In the last year, there's been a veritable baby boom. I don't know if people are just hitting "that age" or if they're suddenly feeling more secure in their jobs (hey, there weren't as many babies in '08 and '09, and I know some of those were just people feeling skittish about money), but it's a little unsettling.
Here's the thing.
I love kids. I wouldn't mind having a couple of my own some day. But while I've finally gotten better at the wedding thing, I am not good with baby showers.
I don't know what it is. The high-estrogen thing, or the simple fact that it's weird to think that I'm old enough -- and by extension, that all of these friends that I've done dumb stuff with over the years are old enough -- to have kids. I'm bad at them.
However, I've learned a few things. I figured I could share some of that.
First of all, attending isn't hard. You get a gift, you bring it along, you maybe play a couple of games, and you eat. You don't need a date or any particular game plan (unless you're throwing the shower, in which case bless you) and -- here's the fun one -- the awkward questions that come up at all those other social occasions aren't nearly as plentiful at a baby shower.
It's almost eerie, but it's true. There are two big reasons: odds are good you're among people who already know your answers, and everybody's far more interested in giving advice to the mom-to-be. Simple as that. Yes, you might hear stories you're not mentally prepared for (i.e. anything about childbirth, lactating, and so forth) but there won't be much going on to put you on the spot.
Know your venue. You might be at someone's house, at a restaurant, having tea -- anything could happen. It could be incredibly casual or downright fancy. It'll depend entirely on who's throwing it and where it's going down. Brace yourself.
Check out the registries. Like buying wedding gifts, there's usually a balance to hit. Lots of moms register at places like Target and if you're coming up completely blank, they're fantastic. If nothing else, it makes it easy to go in on a gift with someone else. ("Oh, she's got a stroller already, but she still wants a crib...") If you don't want to stick strictly with the registry, there are ways to get creative -- if you're a knitter, crocheter, or sewer, she really can't have too many blankets and so forth. If all else fails, have some fun with basic necessities, like diapers and teething rings. Remember, this is a baby -- she'll be going through everything at a breakneck pace. There's such a thing as too many bowls at a wedding shower, but there are rarely too many diapers at a baby shower.
As with a wedding, when you're enthusiasm starts to wane, find a stopping point and leave. The truth is that unless you have kids of your own or this is your sister (or similarly close friend), you're probably going to get tired of the momminess. No need to suck the fun out of it for the people around you if your attitude starts to suck.
And that's what I've figured out so far. If you've got any particular advice to share, I'd love to hear it -- I could use all the help I can get.
Good luck, ladies.
Back in 2004 when I started going to weddings, I kind of forgot that little jingle we sang in elementary school. You know -- "First comes love, then comes marriage..." Since then, something like three-quarters of the couples whose weddings I've attended have started having kids. Not surprising, given that the madness started seven years ago and most people don't actually wait that long to start a family.
In the last year, there's been a veritable baby boom. I don't know if people are just hitting "that age" or if they're suddenly feeling more secure in their jobs (hey, there weren't as many babies in '08 and '09, and I know some of those were just people feeling skittish about money), but it's a little unsettling.
Here's the thing.
I love kids. I wouldn't mind having a couple of my own some day. But while I've finally gotten better at the wedding thing, I am not good with baby showers.
I don't know what it is. The high-estrogen thing, or the simple fact that it's weird to think that I'm old enough -- and by extension, that all of these friends that I've done dumb stuff with over the years are old enough -- to have kids. I'm bad at them.
However, I've learned a few things. I figured I could share some of that.
First of all, attending isn't hard. You get a gift, you bring it along, you maybe play a couple of games, and you eat. You don't need a date or any particular game plan (unless you're throwing the shower, in which case bless you) and -- here's the fun one -- the awkward questions that come up at all those other social occasions aren't nearly as plentiful at a baby shower.
It's almost eerie, but it's true. There are two big reasons: odds are good you're among people who already know your answers, and everybody's far more interested in giving advice to the mom-to-be. Simple as that. Yes, you might hear stories you're not mentally prepared for (i.e. anything about childbirth, lactating, and so forth) but there won't be much going on to put you on the spot.
Know your venue. You might be at someone's house, at a restaurant, having tea -- anything could happen. It could be incredibly casual or downright fancy. It'll depend entirely on who's throwing it and where it's going down. Brace yourself.
Check out the registries. Like buying wedding gifts, there's usually a balance to hit. Lots of moms register at places like Target and if you're coming up completely blank, they're fantastic. If nothing else, it makes it easy to go in on a gift with someone else. ("Oh, she's got a stroller already, but she still wants a crib...") If you don't want to stick strictly with the registry, there are ways to get creative -- if you're a knitter, crocheter, or sewer, she really can't have too many blankets and so forth. If all else fails, have some fun with basic necessities, like diapers and teething rings. Remember, this is a baby -- she'll be going through everything at a breakneck pace. There's such a thing as too many bowls at a wedding shower, but there are rarely too many diapers at a baby shower.
As with a wedding, when you're enthusiasm starts to wane, find a stopping point and leave. The truth is that unless you have kids of your own or this is your sister (or similarly close friend), you're probably going to get tired of the momminess. No need to suck the fun out of it for the people around you if your attitude starts to suck.
And that's what I've figured out so far. If you've got any particular advice to share, I'd love to hear it -- I could use all the help I can get.
Good luck, ladies.
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