The Myth & The Majesty

News Piece #1: I have a job lined up for this summer. I will be working at Storm Mountain Center, a church camp just southwest of here that I attended in my younger years. I can't wait--it'll be awesome. News Piece #2: The semester will be ending in approximately eleven days, so there will be much studying and drinking for a few more days. Not everyone will partake in both. News Piece #3: Dan called me. That's right, Dan "The Man," a.k.a. "He Who I Have Been Emailing Relentlessly While Clinging To The Hope Of A Response," called me rather randomly yesterday, then again today, at which point I actually answered my phone. News Piece #4: What I suspect was the reasoning behind the call: Dan is getting married. You heard it here first, folks (well, maybe you didn't). The Eternal Bachelor is getting married. Still have to grill him for details, but it should be interesting. I'm still dumbfounded myself. Stolen from Jesse: B

Ladies and gentlemen of the world: It is with pride and utter sarcasm that I greet you once again from this great Hall that so many of us call "a place to sleep." We are now looking forward to the future, to summer, to the end of the school year. In true college fashion, it is now time to bring you the latest report on the State of the Dorm. Elections took place not long ago for our Student Association, and the results are as follows: unknown. People voted. I know this, because I was one of them. I also know not many others did. I don't know who won, because they forgot to tell me. They did, however, thank me for participating. Strange noises continue from above. We're not usually sure what they're doing up there ... We suspect massive-orgy-style ballroom dancing on roller skates. When we find out, we'll let you know. All we know is they prefer activity at two in the morning, especially after they get back from parties. Things got heate

I spent most of my childhood with about eight TV channels. When I was really young, we had cable, but I think Dad got more use out of that than the rest of us--as for me, I watched "Sesame Street" on PBS and played outside. Then, I came to college. Here, TV is an enigma. We spend so much time mindlessly flipping through channels, convinced there MUST be something worth watching. It serves as a form of escape. Avoidance, really, something to distract us while we duck homework and studying. The true travesty comes with what we usually end up watching. Spanish soap operas. "All In The Family" reunion show marathons. Infomercials for spray-on hair. Far too often, the TV Guide channel--you know, the one with the listings for the rest of the channels. The thing that gets me is that most topics have their own channels now. TLC is for home remodeling shows. SOAP is for soap operas. Animal Planet. The History Channel. The Travel Channel. The Weather