SWG2L: The Holidays

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the holidays can be rough on a single chick. Even the relatives that normally respect your singleness might ask nosy questions, try to set you up with someone, or worse -- feel sorry for you. The truth is that you're going to hear that the holidays are intended for family and friends and those are easiest to find when you've got that built in family-friend of a spouse.

So how does an eternally single chick cope?

First of all, it's easier if you acknowledge that it might not be easy, no matter how spectacular, cute, unendingly confident, and generally awesome you are. When you're only grocery shopping and can't avoid the constant bombardment of advertising aimed at convincing you to please that nonexistent horde of children that must be at your house, you know it's going to be a rough half hour. You don't have to give in to it and wallow in self-pity, but you can save yourself the denial stage and let it be what it is.

Then, realize that the holidays are for everyone, regardless of marital and familial status. It's that simple -- Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's apply to all of us. Enjoy the sights and sounds. Be thankful. Celebrate the birth of that little baby 2000 years ago. Take some time to realize what you have, and start making plans for your life.

Recognize that although your married friends are quite well-meaning when they suggest a blind date, they might just not get it. Just because they're married doesn't mean that's the only way to go about life -- and more importantly, you're probably not interested in bringing some guy you barely know to Uncle Jerry's holiday shindig. Nor do you want to awkwardly cut things off when you hit January 5th and you realize you must have just been lonely when you said you'd go to his company Christmas party with him.

When you've got your peace, revel in the season. Take your time Christmas shopping and don't be afraid to leave something at the store until you're sure it's the right gift. Bake cookies for coworkers. Throw your own Christmas party. Decorate your house and be excited that it can look exactly how you want it to look. Plan a girls' night that involves sledding and hot cocoa. Place a moratorium on talk of husbands and little ones if necessary -- no stories till the second cup of cocoa. Make a night every week where you do nothing but watch movies at home alone with candles burning. Volunteer at a local soup kitchen or food pantry. Get involved in the community toy drive.

And once (just once) while you're out shopping get something for yourself. It doesn't have to be huge or expensive -- maybe just a necklace you wouldn't normally buy yourself, or the slightly nicer coffee maker, or the scarf that costs five bucks more but whose color you love. Just because you're single doesn't mean you can't get something sparkly (or soft, or shiny, or kitchen-y) for Christmas -- and unlike your married friends, your "significant other" has impeccable taste. You can get exactly what you want.

The truth behind the holidays -- as with anything in life -- is that they will be whatever you make them to be. If you're bound and determined that they'll be miserable, then no effort on your part -- they'll be miserable. If you'd rather enjoy the month of December, you can. It's all a mindset. Really. If only everything in life were this easy.

Merry Christmas, girls, and cheers to a new year worth remembering!