SWG2L: Valentine's Day

As much as I dislike the holiday, I give it way too much press. I know this. I also know that I loved it when I was much younger -- so there's some conflict there.

Here's the thing: like so many things, the thought behind Valentine's Day is good. It's a day set aside for love, for recognizing and encouraging romance. That’s a great idea.

Alas, like so many things, that thought has been twisted. You want to talk about commercialism? About the wrong things being blown out of proportion? Holy cow.

This is one holiday where I am, in a lot of ways, relieved to be single. Because, believe it or not, it's almost harder to be a woman in a relationship wanting things equal on V-Day than it is to be single on V-Day. Granted, there are a lot of women who don’t necessarily want things equal (it could easily be called "Girlfriends' Day"), but for the rest of us it can be a tremendous chore.

I digress! This is supposed to be about surviving Valentine's Day as a single individual.

Okay. So in the midst of the store displays that went up at the same time as the after Christmas sales and the commercials soothingly telling you that you need shiny jewelry, you can't help but wonder what exactly you're supposed to do on this particular day. It is, after all, a holiday focused on couples and small children, and you are neither.

The way I see it, there are a few options.

#1. Be angry, bitter, and outspoken against the stupidity of Valentine's Day, then be sulky because you have nothing to do. Been there, done that. It's no fun.

#2. Find a date for the evening, just because. This one can get a bit dodgy, but to each her own.

#3. Make plans with a group of friends. Arguably the greatest option if you have a lot of single friends -- now you all have something to do (anything! This is a great way to try out a new restaurant or go to a movie without feeling out of place) and you can celebrate your singleness.

#4. Plan a me-date. Anything goes, down to buying yourself flowers, cooking a meal you wouldn't normally, going out to eat, finding a show or a random event (for instance, the place where I take tango lessons is having a dance that night), watching the whole of "The Office: Season 1." Whatever. Spoil yourself a little.

#5. Ignore it -- it's just like any other day.

I once said that the purpose of the SWG2L posts was not to console or empower single women, that there are enough other people out there writing those things -- but different rules apply to holidays.

Here's how it is: you do not need to feel bad for yourself because you're single, nor do you need to try to compensate for it, defend it, or "fix" it temporarily so that you fit in better. It's not a problem or a disease.

Valentine's Day does not make being single easy. You might find yourself feeling insignificant or less than whole when it's normally not an issue. It just kind of happens, and sometimes trying to fight it just makes it worse.

That being said, my recommendation? Buoy your confidence, shake #1, and go for #3 or #4. V-Day might be just like every other day, but it's still a chance to do something special. Send cards to a couple really close friends and show yourself a little love.

Two years ago, I didn't even realize what day it was -- but that was my third day at my new job. No shocker. Last year, a bunch of us went out to dinner and had a blast. This year, I intend to buy myself flowers, spend the day relaxing (my treat for myself: no house cleaning or similar work allowed), make something special for dinner, and watch a movie. There will probably be a bubble bath in there somewhere as well. And let me say -- I'm really looking forward to it.

Good luck, girls, and enjoy your own V-Day!