SWG2L: Awkward Questions

“So why aren’t you married?”

I should have known that it was only a matter of time before someone asked me the most awkward question possible. I had been in Wausau for almost two months; it was a Sunday, and I was at church. It was only my third week there and I had just been introduced to a very friendly older woman. But she, like so many others, switched from “Well, you’re interesting” to “Are you an alien?” once she realized that I was a single female engineer from out of state. I had gotten that look so many times already -- but she was the first to take it a step further and ask the question.

It was my own fault. I had described Tech by its ratio, which is never a good idea if you’re trying to avoid awkwardness. And she had come to the conclusion that there must be something desperately wrong with me. I mean, who spends four years in the company of mostly eligible men and comes out unattached?

In this particular instance, I was able to laugh it off -- after a stuttering moment. She was embarrassed the moment the words came out (definitely hadn’t meant them as they sounded) and accepted my joking, “Well, the odds were good, but the goods were odd.”

By all means, I am in a fairly unique situation. I went to a school that other women have attended for the sole purpose of meeting a man. The fact that I left single was a matter of choice, but it’s one that can be hard to understand -- particularly by older women who automatically wonder if you are therefore a feminist or a lesbian. (I wish I were kidding.) And so awkwardness appears.

I’ve gotten asked several versions of this question for the last two years of my life from people of all sorts of ages. It’s tough to answer quickly -- 95% of the time, they’re not looking for an explanation. They just want to know I’m not an alien. And often times, people are just as embarrassed as I am when the words just pop out. Sometimes they’re being snarky (let's face it, girls -- we all do that from time to time), but for the most part it’s an innocent question worded badly.

So why aren’t I married? Well, that all depends on my mood, really.

Honest: “I have no interest in dating just for the sake of dating. That goes for marrying, too.”
Wishy-Washy: “I just haven’t found the right man yet.”
Humorous: “The odds are good but the goods are odd.”
Defensive: “I don’t need a man.”
Controversial: “I haven’t met the right person. Are you available?”
Snobby: “I have yet to meet a man worthy of me.”
Copping Out: “It’s not a good time for me / I’m way too busy to be seeing anyone.”
Begging for Sympathy: “I don’t think there’s really a man out there for me.”
Wanting to Inspire Conversation Whether or Not I Actually Believe What I’m Saying: “I don’t believe in marrying before I’m 30.”

Blameful: “I live in the wrong town to meet anyone anywhere near my age.”

The best answers I’ve had aren’t self-consoling. It’s not a bad thing to be single, but that’s precisely the thought behind that question in the first place (note: it almost always comes from a married or engaged person). If my answer can shove that thought out of my head and theirs right away then I did well. And hey, if I can get a laugh at the same time, all the better.

Let's try for some input again. What are some similar awkward questions that you’ve been asked and how did you answer?