Much

This is a long day.

I have this incredible desire to write but my brain won't cooperate. After the retreat and taking care of some school issues, I came home and continued to unpack. Ran a couple of errands ... and I'm still unpacking. Things have been rather dull since about 3:00.

My body's starting to shut down. I suppose that's expected when you forget to eat (I never used to do that ...), but the end result is all that matters right now. I still have a mess, but I need some sleep pretty soon.

Not shockingly, I've been thinking pretty hard about classes and the next few months. I'm struck by how much things have changed.

For instance, there was a group of people that I hung out with freshman year. There are still a few of us (three, really) that hang out; for the most part, that original group has scattered. Some of them have graduated and gone on to bigger and better things; some have dropped out and changed paths. A few of them are actually still here, but gone on co-op (or to Iraq) for the semester. Some of us simply don't talk to each other anymore, for one reason or another.

Four years ago, I was certain about my chosen career path. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I would be a chemical engineer and I would love it. Now? Everything beyond December 16th is a black fog bank. I have no idea what to expect.

This blog has changed, too. It's been my escape for the last three years, but it's getting steadily less well-written. I'm saddened by this -- writing has always been my creative outlet, my form of art. I've never been much of a drawer or painter, but I could write. It's not necessarily that I've lost all ability; instead, my abilities have deteriorated as I have progressed with my degree. This school breeds leaders and scientists, but not the greatest communicators.

I think it's time for bed. Too much, too much ...

Comments

Anonymous said…
I feel the same way....my desire to write and read quickly slipped away as other things pressed on urgently. Luckily, once in the "real world", there actually is more time (sometimes). It's just that now I don't even want to look at my computer once I leave work. Sigh. I miss you! Maybe we'll run into each other on campus soon.

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