A Good Part

Let's talk more about that stroke, shall we?

To be perfectly frank, in a year that has had a lot of Very Bad Things happen (more to come -- be warned, there have been two funerals and I'm figuring out how to talk about them), the stroke has been a curious mix of "WTF is going on" and "Oh that explains a lot." And despite everything, I find deep satisfaction in having questions answered even when the answer kind of sucks.

For instance, "Why do I feel so sluggish?"

Anytime I look back over the last two years, I see the deceleration. Hiking got harder, to the point that I couldn't talk myself into it with any regularity. It was difficult to keep up with my nieces. And then stairs got to be a problem.

However, I was born in the '80s and grew up assuming that such a slowdown was my own fault. I was just getting really out of shape. Clearly this was something I could control since it didn't seem I was gaining weight. Clearly I just needed to work on my cardio.

Look, folks. My sister said it best: you don't have to be in pain. You don't have to automatically deteriorate just because your birth year is back there aways. Talk to a doctor.

Maybe your joints just need some help, or maybe that back pain can be addressed. Or maybe you'll find out that you've been retaining water for a long time, and then as you slowed down you lost some muscle mass.

Guess which one applied to me?

The reset has been interesting. It seems every cell in my body deflated just slightly, so unexpected things don't fit the same way (like rings). Much more importantly, though, there were things I hadn't realized were difficult that were abruptly easy. Crossing my legs, forward folds, climbing stairs -- basics, really. Things you don't think about unless you're forced, things that change so slowly you don't notice the way you should.

But the one that got me thinking about this today? Yesterday I could toss my middle niece around like I was in my twenties. It didn't hurt, it didn't wear me out, and there was no shortness of breath.

It was amazing.

On the heels of a lot of pain and sadness this year, this bodily reset has been welcome. Mix all of that together and I'm feeling the urge to go do the things -- take the trips, bike the miles, go to the concerts, kayak the lakes, absorb the experiences. The reasons to hold back are largely gone, and the reasons that remain seem more like excuses. Would my older family members want me to hesitate just because maybe things could take a turn? Doubtful. Actually, that might just set me up for lectures.

So I think I'll spend my Black Friday avoiding the shopping and instead plan for the future. Get my state parks pass ordered like I do every year. Sketch out a training plan to get my butt conditioned for a bike tour. (Very literally on that one.) Think about the things that would make my next year worth remembering instead of a long slog of torture.

See what exactly this body of mine can do now.

Wish me luck.