Friday, March 4, 2016

Finding Balance

Last year, there was no balance.

It was kind of ridiculous. Things bounced from one extreme to another -- a heart attack to a wedding. A summer crew that got along famously ... and then near-civil-war. Trips that went smoothly followed by sudden reminders that I really shouldn't rent cars. Snow at just plain ridiculous times.

Okay, so that last one tends to happen every year. Still.

The bottom line is that when things keep swinging back and forth like that, it's hard to ever feel settled. With a personality that tends toward overdoing anything -- taking on hobbies by the handful, spending more, staying out later, staying up longer -- getting off balance is a fast and easy way to invite trouble. The big things bleed into the little things which bleed into the everyday things and all of the sudden I'm lost in the middle of Cleveland with no memory of how I got there. It's awful.

Much like that paragraph.

For 2016, I decided to strive for balance. Two months into that, I think it's working.

The differences have been subtle. Acknowledging when I might overdo it and learning to back away. Setting limits and sticking to them. Keeping track of ... everything. This year, I don't have the option of convincing myself that no, that night out was three weeks ago, not this past Thursday, and I can totally do it again tomorrow. (My wall calendar is a majestic work of art, complete with post-its, stickers, and sarcasm.) I might not have any control over the big things [last year was a year for hospitals -- this year is appearing to be a year for break-ins] but if I can keep the little things and the everyday things in balance, maybe I can have a much more even reaction to the big things.

Am I making any sense at all?

I admit. Some of this is a simple control freak thing. Some of it may even be unnecessary. At the moment, though, knowing that I've been sleeping better, that my checking account is in better shape, that I've lost a few pounds -- you can't convince me that it hasn't been useful.

Balance. Seriously underrated.

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