Monday, July 7, 2014

This Is Not A Paid Advertisement

Do YOU want to lose weight without ever joining a gym?
Do you have eating habits that don't support a skinny lifestyle?
Want to eat ice cream every day and not worry about the calories?
Then I have a deal for you!
Get a job working with your local camp and watch the pounds melt away! Gain muscle and stamina! Never step on a treadmill again!
Sleep well every single night!

May not be suitable for those who have been working desk jobs for more than a decade. May inhibit any normal or already-established social life. May have to have a high tolerance for children, parents, adults that act like children, Band-Aids, bug bites, sunburns, meals intended for those half to a quarter your age, long hours, long hikes, long swims, long nights, long whines from campers, strange requests, late trips to Walmart, and Kool-Aid. Please consult your physician, psychiatrist, and spouse before beginning this program. Please do not operate heavy machinery before finding a new sleep schedule with this program. Side effects include irritableness, fatigue, wintertime weight gain, and straight-up lunacy.

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