If I Had ...

(From a Frazz comic strip)
Student: You know what I'd do if I were rich?
Frazz: Spend it until you weren't?

What would you do with a million dollars?

Megan over here got this question from a blurker (I love that word ... I am that word) and for whatever reason I really wanted to answer it. Probably because I'm an unoriginal copycat. And it's one of those icebreaker questions that you never have a good answer for when it's an icebreaker -- but twenty minutes later you've got thirty different ideas. Plus I can't think about anything important today.

So let's pose it ... If someone handed you a million today (for argument's sake, this is a million after taxes -- the take-home cash), what would you do with it?

Personally? About half of it would get designated to a few places -- my home church, Storm Mountain Center, Heifer International, and a couple of AIDS organizations. About a quarter directly into various forms of savings; about another tenth would hopefully pay off my sister's school debts and help my brother out. Then I would probably go back to school myself.

That's right -- if I didn't have to work for a living, I wouldn't. I could be a professional student. That'd be okay with me.

I'd throw some new furniture in there (like a couch that's not sinking in the middle) and some plane tickets to fun places, including a couple to Europe with my parents. My big splurge items right there. (Oh, and once -- just once -- I'd fly first class. That'd be neat. Of course, if I timed it right, I could get a free upgrade with miles ... because even with money to spare I'd be playing those angles.)

As for the rest of it -- I'm pretty sure there'd be a sizeable sum left -- I have no idea. Suppose I'd live off it for awhile.

When we were younger, Mia Sorella and I would play a shopping spree game. And boy, could we find things to do with our imaginary windfall. Creative things, crazy things, childish things. Lots of foolish spending. But now? There are so few things I'd want to buy -- not even a new car -- that I'd probably stare dumbly at the money for hours before anything really happened.

What a strange thought.

If I had a million dollars, I would buy you a house (I'd buy you a house) ... If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a K-car  (a nice reliant automobile) ... If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel) ... If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you an exotic pet (yep -- like a llama, or an emu) ... If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love ...

-Barenaked Ladies, "If I Had A Million Dollars"