Searching
This has been in the works all week -- here you go.
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Listening to: Rilo Kiley, Nickel Creek, and Lemon Demon
Reading: A description of Anna Karenina
Thinking about: Wait, that’s the point of blogging, isn’t it?
What do you want from your life?
I'm not a big fan of motivational jargon. I don't read self-help books or watch TV talk shows. Some people might suggest that I should (please don't), but the full truth is that I don't put much stock in someone who makes their money by giving the masses six steps to fix whatever life problem it is they have. I don't like blanket cures (except maybe penicillin).
But I thought today I could irritate myself long enough to kick off this post. The full truth is that my opening question can reveal a lot more to you if you can actually be honest with yourself -- alas, that's not a talent many of us have, myself included.
Let's try it for a moment anyway. Simplify things -- what's your favorite part about your job? Where you live? What is it that you do on the weekends? Does it make you happy? I'm not talking about cleaning the house and doing the laundry -- I'm talking about the things that aren't necessary on a week-to-week basis.
Okay. Now that we’ve identified what makes you happy, tell me ... Is that where it ends?
Here’s the thing. I’m happy with where I am right now. I like my job, I like my town, and I’ve had a lot of fun with the people I’ve met, but if I am still here in ten -- or even five -- years, I won’t be happy anymore. It’s not that I need to leave Wausau or my job or anything, but if nothing changes I’ll go crazy.
So what do I want from my life?
I want to be surrounded by crazy people. Not, you know, clinically, but adventurous, spontaneous, fun people, passionate people, people who want to change the world and bring others with them. I’ve made a good start with that one, although I suspect most of us will only be here temporarily ... so the quest for crazy people must continue.
[There’s also that little bit of hope that I’ll meet the one particular crazy person who will be willing to put up with me for the rest of our lives ... But he might actually have to be clinically crazy, so maybe I shouldn’t hope too hard for that one.]
I want to keep moving, whatever it is that means. I know what I hope it includes, but mostly I hope I don’t get stagnant on myself.
I never want to be convinced I have it all figured out.
But most of all, I never want to be comfortable to the point of complacency. Maybe that’s why money makes me uncomfortable ... I worry about what effect it might have on me. I don’t want to be another disconnected middle-class American. There are far too many of them, and I don’t need to add to the madness.
I know, I know ... “Hey, Ashley, I’d be happy to help you with that one.” No. That’s not what I mean. I don’t want you to be a disconnected middle-class American either. It’s comfortable, sure, but it can also be pretty boring.
And I suppose that is what I want most from my life: unboringness. (Woot for the flexibility of English!) It’s not that I want constant excitement (that would be exhausting) or constant disaster (depressing) or constant blessing (spoiling). But most of all, I don’t want to be so comfortable that I forget what it’s like to be a real human.
So I turn it back to you -- what do you want from your life? Really, truly want? Forget about the American dream. It’s kind of crap anyway. When you look back on your life in fifty years and think, “Dude. That was cool,” what do you want to see?
-------------------------------------------------
Listening to: Rilo Kiley, Nickel Creek, and Lemon Demon
Reading: A description of Anna Karenina
Thinking about: Wait, that’s the point of blogging, isn’t it?
What do you want from your life?
I'm not a big fan of motivational jargon. I don't read self-help books or watch TV talk shows. Some people might suggest that I should (please don't), but the full truth is that I don't put much stock in someone who makes their money by giving the masses six steps to fix whatever life problem it is they have. I don't like blanket cures (except maybe penicillin).
But I thought today I could irritate myself long enough to kick off this post. The full truth is that my opening question can reveal a lot more to you if you can actually be honest with yourself -- alas, that's not a talent many of us have, myself included.
Let's try it for a moment anyway. Simplify things -- what's your favorite part about your job? Where you live? What is it that you do on the weekends? Does it make you happy? I'm not talking about cleaning the house and doing the laundry -- I'm talking about the things that aren't necessary on a week-to-week basis.
Okay. Now that we’ve identified what makes you happy, tell me ... Is that where it ends?
Here’s the thing. I’m happy with where I am right now. I like my job, I like my town, and I’ve had a lot of fun with the people I’ve met, but if I am still here in ten -- or even five -- years, I won’t be happy anymore. It’s not that I need to leave Wausau or my job or anything, but if nothing changes I’ll go crazy.
So what do I want from my life?
I want to be surrounded by crazy people. Not, you know, clinically, but adventurous, spontaneous, fun people, passionate people, people who want to change the world and bring others with them. I’ve made a good start with that one, although I suspect most of us will only be here temporarily ... so the quest for crazy people must continue.
[There’s also that little bit of hope that I’ll meet the one particular crazy person who will be willing to put up with me for the rest of our lives ... But he might actually have to be clinically crazy, so maybe I shouldn’t hope too hard for that one.]
I want to keep moving, whatever it is that means. I know what I hope it includes, but mostly I hope I don’t get stagnant on myself.
I never want to be convinced I have it all figured out.
But most of all, I never want to be comfortable to the point of complacency. Maybe that’s why money makes me uncomfortable ... I worry about what effect it might have on me. I don’t want to be another disconnected middle-class American. There are far too many of them, and I don’t need to add to the madness.
I know, I know ... “Hey, Ashley, I’d be happy to help you with that one.” No. That’s not what I mean. I don’t want you to be a disconnected middle-class American either. It’s comfortable, sure, but it can also be pretty boring.
And I suppose that is what I want most from my life: unboringness. (Woot for the flexibility of English!) It’s not that I want constant excitement (that would be exhausting) or constant disaster (depressing) or constant blessing (spoiling). But most of all, I don’t want to be so comfortable that I forget what it’s like to be a real human.
So I turn it back to you -- what do you want from your life? Really, truly want? Forget about the American dream. It’s kind of crap anyway. When you look back on your life in fifty years and think, “Dude. That was cool,” what do you want to see?
Comments
I've been thinking about that recently, too. Must be in the wind...
I think I want the same as you. I'm learning that movement (i.e. not stagnation) for me might include living in Rapid City long-term, but as long as I'm working to make a difference here, I don't think I'll come to the end of excitement.
Mostly, I want to change how I do relationships. What I want from my life is to live in a true community--to share life with people in every sense of the word-our joys and sorrows and moments. I don't want the typical American sense of individualism and "personal space" to influence me--but rather the more generous sense of shared living. Basically, I want to live in a commune. Ok, probably not. But maybe you know what I mean, even a little?