Expect Delays
I woke up yesterday morning confused.
You see, when I got to the city of Rapid this past Sunday, I found everything pretty much as I had left it. Drivers were still mildly psychotic, it was hot and dry outside, and the school was still bustling with people (although one big building is finally gone). I still had to wait for a train when I went on a coffee run. Unlike when I appeared at home, things hadn’t changed much.
But, when I woke up, I was confused.
I suppose that happens to a lot of people when they wake up somewhere new for the first time. That “Holy cow, where am I?” moment when you realize things are going to be different.
The confusion didn’t end there, as I got ready for the day in this strange new house. This was my new home. This was where I would run off to when I was sick of homework and projects and needed to sleep. It was strange, but I definitely liked it.
Work came shortly after that, and there the confusion continued. Again, not much had changed, but that was where the confusion took hold; it felt like June all over again. June, before Russia, before Anya, Tanya, Sasha, and Mr. Jonesevich. Before the Amys and the rest of the crowd. Before shopping around for Dani’s wedding. Before the house and the roommates and the stinking utilities. Before that huge paper was written and before special quality time with the family.
It’s been an interesting summer, to say the least. It’s been crazy, fun, heartbreaking, stressful, but very interesting. The problem lies in the fact that I’m really not ready to let it go and head back to “normal” life. I don’t really want to spend my days buried with my books, getting frustrated with bizarre math problems and not sleeping enough to keep up any level of energy. I don’t want to spend all my free time with only one group of people and forget about the others hanging around. I’m not ready to stop eating good food and subsist entirely on low-nutrition, high-calorie tripe that I buy out of vending machines in desperation. Most of all, I don’t want to put this summer behind me, pulling out pictures when people ask and pretending like I’m still the same exact person.
A little voice in my head tells me that it’s okay, that maybe I shouldn’t accept some of those things, that those things can change -- and should. Right now, I don’t know how much of it my brain can handle, but I’m willing to find out. Just don’t expect me to be operating at my former pace -- there’s a lot more going on now than there was before.
Please excuse me while I wait for another train with my hot coffee.
You see, when I got to the city of Rapid this past Sunday, I found everything pretty much as I had left it. Drivers were still mildly psychotic, it was hot and dry outside, and the school was still bustling with people (although one big building is finally gone). I still had to wait for a train when I went on a coffee run. Unlike when I appeared at home, things hadn’t changed much.
But, when I woke up, I was confused.
I suppose that happens to a lot of people when they wake up somewhere new for the first time. That “Holy cow, where am I?” moment when you realize things are going to be different.
The confusion didn’t end there, as I got ready for the day in this strange new house. This was my new home. This was where I would run off to when I was sick of homework and projects and needed to sleep. It was strange, but I definitely liked it.
Work came shortly after that, and there the confusion continued. Again, not much had changed, but that was where the confusion took hold; it felt like June all over again. June, before Russia, before Anya, Tanya, Sasha, and Mr. Jonesevich. Before the Amys and the rest of the crowd. Before shopping around for Dani’s wedding. Before the house and the roommates and the stinking utilities. Before that huge paper was written and before special quality time with the family.
It’s been an interesting summer, to say the least. It’s been crazy, fun, heartbreaking, stressful, but very interesting. The problem lies in the fact that I’m really not ready to let it go and head back to “normal” life. I don’t really want to spend my days buried with my books, getting frustrated with bizarre math problems and not sleeping enough to keep up any level of energy. I don’t want to spend all my free time with only one group of people and forget about the others hanging around. I’m not ready to stop eating good food and subsist entirely on low-nutrition, high-calorie tripe that I buy out of vending machines in desperation. Most of all, I don’t want to put this summer behind me, pulling out pictures when people ask and pretending like I’m still the same exact person.
A little voice in my head tells me that it’s okay, that maybe I shouldn’t accept some of those things, that those things can change -- and should. Right now, I don’t know how much of it my brain can handle, but I’m willing to find out. Just don’t expect me to be operating at my former pace -- there’s a lot more going on now than there was before.
Please excuse me while I wait for another train with my hot coffee.
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