Sunday, February 13, 2005

"Some Side Effects May Include ..."

Wow. Gotta love that. A million topics floating around in my head, and the second I have the time to write about any of them, they float right out.

In any case, I think I can remember a couple. Spending these last couple of days sick has given me the "opportunity" to catch up on some TV watching. And, in this time, I've discovered a new love for stand-up comedy.

There's one guy in particular whose name, unfortunately, escapes me. He stood out for the simple phenomenon that he was ... not offensive? He got to the end of his bit and said, in some paraphrase, that most comics end with their best joke. The unfortunate truth of the matter is that life isn't really all that funny. And sometimes, sometimes you just have to think --

And that's where he stopped and walked offstage.

It was actually very cool.

It reminded me of an episode of "CSI" that guest starred Bobcat Goldthwait ... But you probably don't want to hear about that right now, so back to the real commentary.

Anyway, the fortunate part of TV was the stand-up. The unfortunate parts, once again, were the commercials. Mostly, I was just confused.

First, there's the truck commercial (names withheld from here out) that adds a comment about including the safety of Onstar. Now, the people who actually have some need for these trucks -- and I'm not talking about commuters who trade fuel efficiency for all the little cars going, "Nope, you go first, you're bigger and scarier" -- aren't usually terribly worried about safety. At least, not the ones I know. And some of those same people in this area still refuse to get a cell phone because they don't want to be tracked down that easily.

Right. They're gonna looooove a little button that lets them be found in almost-real time.

Then, of course there's the influx of a few somewhat embarrassing commercials what with the onset of V-Day. Condoms, lubricant ... Yup. Their time of year, along with Hallmark and Russell Stover. Interesting how that works.

But then there were two phrases, on two different commercials, that confused me. One was for an allergy medicine that fights "environmental troublemakers." Troublemakers? Apparently it pulls the smog right out of the air and slaps its wrist.

The one that really got me was for a local secondhand clothing store, advertising clothing for "any age, any gender."

Leaves that one a bit open, doesn't it? I suppose the wording sounds better than, say, "Any age, either gender." Bit too trippy that way (and some people would argue that there are more than two genders), but it still made me chuckle.

Sorry for the misleading title, but I'm not going to talk about side effects on medications. That's a bit more in-depth and multi-faceted than I care to tackle right now.

Let's see here ... Did you know that the longest lines to the shower occur at midnight and seven in the morning? Keep in mind that, while there are only thirteen girls in my hall, there are also only two showers (and that's because we divided the one we had with the pole in the middle into two). I'm pretty happy to have class at nine, since I never manage to make it to the front of that 7AM line.

I was going to rant about loud hallmates at 2AM, but it seems like most of my readers understand that irritation, so I'll spare you of that.

Instead, a preview of a future discussion; they're thinking of implementing a "required laptop rental" thing with upcoming classes. Talk amongst yourselves.

It's a bit late, and I've still got homework to finish. I'll talk to y'all later.

I'm not myself today ... Maybe I'm you.

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