Saturday, September 18, 2004

Rednecks And Idiots In The Evil Empire

www.homestarrunner.com -- Go now and take a look at "Pizzaz," the new SB email!

You know, I had the urge to blog, but now I don't remember what I wanted to say.

I HATE when that happens!

Anyway, I'm back out at Storm (again), hard at work ... Well, I was hard at work (except for that 4-wheeling stint we had this afternoon). Now us hard workers (Dyan, Kellie, and I) are hanging out in the office. I use that term loosely -- mostly Dyan and I are making fun of Kellie and her online "math" course.

Yup. She goes to BH.

Wait, now she's signing up for ... an online dating service? What the heck?!

Things are going well, on the surface. Dig down deeper and things are confusing and troubling, but who really digs down that far these days anyway?

Just in case you were curious, I'll expose that deep down stuff for a moment; I currently have a new situation in my life that's kind of confusing me, a scary situation that I really don't feel like talking about, impossible heat transfer homework, stressful extracurricular stuff, and it sounds like my grandpa might need surgery on his aorta ... Yup. That's my week in a nutshell.

Okay, maybe my weekend. The rest of the week was pretty uneventful, all things considered. Except for the scary part. That wasn't this weekend.

I was just given an interesting topic for this evening's blog: people in line in front of you at Wal-Mart.

I've mentioned Wal-Mart in previous blogs (specifically the money-sucking capabilities of said evil empire), but the people at Wal-Mart are often provide the true entertainment.

For instance, can you pick out the college shoppers? Sure, if you get a look at them it's pretty obvious, but what makes this REALLY obvious is if you can get a look at the contents of their respective carts. A DVD or two, the cheapest shampoo available, ramen, half-priced dented cans, and two twelve packs of on-sale pop? You just ID'ed a college bum. Fresh fruit, too? That's a college kid who just got grocery money from her mom and is starting to feel like she might be developing scurvy.

The level of redneck in a Wal-Mart is always considerably higher than, say, your average mall zone (where the level of annoying middle schooler is higher than your average Wal-Mart). Count mullets next time you're there. I dare you.

Yet this doesn't quite go near the things you see in line. I saw a sixteen-year-old kid try to buy beer once ... Yeah, he didn't actually get away with that. I think that was only because the cashier wasn't old enough to sell it, though. I saw one girl try to use what I suspect was a stolen check card, too -- the name on the card was Trevor and I think the cashier happened to know the guy. "Security" showed up and everything. It was pretty cool.

But what you really can't beat now is the self-checkout. It's amazing the number of times a person can be outsmarted by a snobby computer. I myself have issues with the scale thingy ... I never have the correct weight for the item I'm putting in the bag. I'm not sure why. It's rather confusing.

Watched a guy try to pick a fight with the computer once, too. That was fun. Felt kinda sorry for the girl helping with the blasted machines. She was about five foot negative six and 60 pounds -- roughly a fifth the guy's size and about as meek as he was ugly.

Tell you what -- send me any Wal-Mart blurbs you might have and I'll write about them. There's something about writing about evil empires that's rather amusing.

Now, I'm off laughing on a fast camel. Have a good weekend, everybody.


People who live in grass houses shouldn't be stoned.

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