The Myth & The Majesty

On September 24th, my mom died. This is the post I have struggled to write. My sister wrote a rather gorgeous obituary and I gave a eulogy at her funeral, but here? I don't know where to start. Still, some part of me wants to try, to get it out there for posterity. Perhaps it's just time to go at it from a different angle. Mom had been fighting cancer for six years.  Growing up, she'd seemed nigh invincible — energetic, intelligent, talented. Nothing slowed her down, not even three kids. She was endlessly capable, it seemed, and it was strange enough to look back and realize she'd aged along with me. As I'd gotten older I'd come to realize what she'd been up against when I was a teenager (like my weird moods mixed with her upbringing telling her I'd get over it) and that she was, ultimately, another adult trying to make it in the world. We developed a normal adult friendship; we had real conversations, I tagged along with her hiking group when I could, w...

 It's Jane Austen's 250th birthday today!  It's a great day to read a good book, drink some tea, and contemplate your daily life -- all the nooks and crannies, all the strange customs and behaviors, all the follies of your neighbors and sister(s). Take a moment to recognize the birth of an observant genius, one who ultimately gave voice to stories that are still archetypes of so many books and movies that are generated now in the 21st century. Here's to you, Ms. Austen.

Let it be known that I am trying. Granted, I could apply this to a lot of different things. I'm trying to take better care of myself. I'm trying to get caught up on ... everything. I'm trying to find an indoor bike that I actually like so I can get better exercise this winter. My lone decoration at work So perhaps some specificity is in order: I am trying to summon a Christmas spirit. Just a little one. It is no surprise to me that it is proving elusive. It has not been a good year, except that somehow I'm still here. Still kicking. Still working, even. (Hey, that's something.) Maybe not attacking things with enthusiasm, but at least still in motion. So I am trying. I may not be decorating like I usually do and I'm nowhere near being done with my shopping -- I usually pride myself with finishing my Christmas shopping by the tenth of December but at this point I think I've barely started -- but I'm trying. I'm listening to A Christmas Carol and I thin...

 (aka The First Bad Thing) It was March. Things had gotten wacky at work (long story, that) but personally, it wasn't really a crisis year just yet. Heck, up to that point it had even been a pretty great year -- there had been a bachelor party of great renown and a spectacular wedding that finally happened after thirteen years of waiting. A week before, I'd gained a truly beautiful niece. Life was generally quite good. Which is, of course, when that phone call happened. "I have terrible news. Tony died this morning." * I'd first met Tony when I started my new job at The Unnamed Bike Place (TUBP from now on). He had been scheduled for my interview panel but was out for a family emergency that particular week; when I started the job, others warned me that he was a bit of a wild card and occasionally overwhelming. And they weren't wrong. This whirlwind human sat across the room from me and he was ... a lot. He started sentences mid-thought and seemed frustrated w...