The Myth & The Majesty

Baby, it's cold outside... As I write this, it's 0 degrees outside with a windchill of 13 below. Not exactly cozy. It seems I'm hardwired to get up early on Christmas morning. I was usually the first of us kids out of bed, always at an unseemly hour -- the oldest but still the most eager to go check out stockings. When I was in my teens, it meant I could get breakfast (cinnamon rolls) started. And in college ... well, there wasn't really a reason. I just woke up. This year, despite the fact that we're not really celebrating today, I'm still up. And I've got those cinnamon rolls rising and the oven preheating. Because even if we're not really celebrating, we need our food. The last few years, we've adapted to odd Christmases, much as every family with grown children does. For one reason or another, we can't always make it home for the 25th itself -- one lives too far away, one has to work. I'm here, but then I haven't left in two...

Listening to: Billie Holiday Thankful that: I decided to stay home this weekend after all Oh, what an agonizingly long night. Sort of. Those of you who know me or who have been reading this for any significant length of time probably know that I am prone to bouts of insomnia. Nothing to compare to my sister's bouts, thank goodness, but there nonetheless. (If it is in fact genetic, my dad gets the blame -- he has the same problem.) I am a morning person -- sort of -- and a night owl. I am not an afternoon person. The problem seems to come when those nights blend right into the mornings and I then sleep into the afternoon. Last night started like so many Fridays. I've been taking Fridays off lately from the social scene; we have an active group here that can keep busy virtually every weeknight. By Friday, I need some me time. With that in mind, I left work yesterday and headed straight for JoAnn Fabrics. That felt odd, simply because I'd never been in there and I've never...

I need to be more careful about when I sleep. As such, I also need to be more careful about my caffeine consumption. I don't really recall a point in my life where caffeine had much of an effect on me. It's quite possibly because, for many years, I didn't drink it; until I was about fourteen, we didn't have soda in the house on a regular basis, and I didn't get hooked on coffee until about then. However, I recently cut back on my Pepsi consumption considerably (from about 120 ounces a week to under 40 -- an odd accomplishment in life) and I drink tea in the morning (which is considerably low on the caffeine scale). But last night I had a 3-shot Americano when I went to B&N ... at 6PM. Oops. Long story slightly shorter, my night of relaxation was a good one, but longer than originally intended. I rented a movie (I love Redbox -- $1 per night for whatever movies they have on hand [always new releases] and no need for a membership) and sat down to watch it, only to...

It's funny. I did some manic posting (well, for me) over the weekend, but yesterday when I sat down to write nothing came. I had fifty ideas over the course of the day, but when I had the chance? Blank. The same thing happened when I got home this afternoon. And fifteen minutes ago, when I tried again. All I could do was sit and stare at the screen. So here I am, telling you about that instead of whatever it is I intended to say earlier today. But not for long. I'm finally tired at a "normal" time ... or at least normal since I joined the real world ... I've been plagued by insomnia for a few days, the kind that keeps me up until at least 2AM just thinking. It's enough to drive me crazy (if only because it's extremely awkward to drift off at my computer at work -- first because there's no comfortable way to do it, and second because those two minutes will inevitably be the only two minutes during which someone decides they need to chat with me), but lu...

Like so many things in life, it all started with an email. A late one, for that matter. “Hey, I saw you were going to have a couple Russian parties, and I thought I might try to make it out for one ... Oh, by the way. I moved to Wisconsin not too long ago.” What started on that awkward note turned into a great weekend in Superior/Duluth. Saturday, I met up with Danielle (who, much to my jealousy, spent the last year in St. Petersburg teaching English and just this past Saturday started the venture back for another year) and did some sightseeing. Since I had never seen Lake Superior before, most of our activity was lakeside. The beach, the lighthouse, the Rose Garden ... We even went geocaching (which was even more fun because it was Danielle’s first cache), finding one right down on the shore. After that, we met up with Amy (another member of the 2005 Russia crew) for supper, and then ended up at Marilynn (yep – another one!) and Amy’s apartment to get caught up. Sunday started at a ba...

The question for the day is ... what do you do when you can't sleep? I almost always end up on the computer. I can't really say why ... I suppose it's because a computer matches my attention span, especially late at night. There are a million different things to do here (unlike watching TV), and nothing requires too much concentration (unlike reading). On nights like tonight, when I can't seem to quiet my brain down and my apartment is just a little too warm anyway, staring blankly at a screen seems to help. Maybe I'm a nerd. Maybe I'm a child of the computer age. Maybe I'm just another standard, normal American. (Technically I'm all of those.) Let's see ... The psychotic week is over ... I spent some quality time in the pilot plant, threw off my normal sleep schedule (probably why I'm still up now), and got a new car. Yesterday I went for a nice long drive up by Rhinelander (60ish miles north-northeast of here) and had some bonding time with Sop...

So here's the thing. I've been working on this blog since very early Friday morning, and I want to post it all. Just in case you prefer the Reader's Digest version, here are the cold hard facts: - I have accepted a position with Siemens Water Technologies. I will be moving to Wisconsin sometime in the near future. - I thought about this long and hard (and prayed a fair amount, some of which was very loud, almost-yelling "conversation") before deciding this was the best course of action. - I'm really, genuinely psyched about this new step in life ... and not just because I finally know what's going on. Now, if you want to delve into the mind of Ashley, read on! Written Thursday night/Friday morning, when I was insomniacking : Thinking about: oh, so many things ... Listening to: Some U2, some Jars, some more Regina Spektor , and some White Stripes Wishing for: Daylight and a little more information I got the phone call today. I've been getting a fair amo...

ARGH. I'm finally done pacing. Frustrations lead to a period of intense freak-out, followed by having way too much energy. Hence pacing. Now, I'm watching the Food Network and drinking funny-colored grape Kool-Aid. (It's red.) It's that kind of week. I have an interview that I'm genuinely nervous about; this is a job I could really go for. Since I'm currently pursuing four different avenues as far as what to do next, I'm looking for something definitive. A good interview? A callback? Definition. Aside from that ... Wait, I don't want to talk about that here. That's not blog material. That's ... well, about it. I anticipate some more freaking out before I finally sleep (this time, I understand my insomnia!), but at least I've stopped pacing. See you when I have more content!

Something needs to change. I used to be able to sleep. It wasn't an issue. Now ... well, now it takes a lot longer for me to feel tired enough to even try, a long time to actually fall asleep, and very little to wake up. It's been a long couple of weeks. The truth is that I've gotten into some bad habits. Late-night activity (like going to Perkins last night at midnight, or eating fiber twigs about an hour ago) just encourages the problem. I don't fully understand why I do this to myself -- after all, it's all voluntary anyway -- but I seem to be having issues saying no. Honestly, I don't want to say no. The end is getting closer, and it's starting to feel more realistic. I'm starting to realize that I won't have a whole lot more time to see my friends, at least not as easily as I do now. That thought makes me sad, and much more intentional; I'm staying out later and spending more time doing random things than I used to. Threats of joining the ou...

Exhaustion set in hours ago, and yet I'm sitting at my computer playing the little game with the neurotic penguins. Somehow, I can't seem to convince myself to sleep. Maybe it's the week taking it's toll on my poor body. Maybe it's the day itself kicking in. Maybe it's my housemate cleaning her room. (Did you know that a Swiffer mop sounds remarkably like a digital camera when you squirt the cleaner? Neither did I.) Maybe it's because my roommate's snoring. Whatever it is, I'm still bumping around in the night. It's been an insomnia-inducing week. Homework, job interviews, angry bosses ... I feel like I've been going full speed when my body was only capable of half-speed. (Sort of like my Jeep.) Tomorrow, it's a senior design test. Bit scary. Then, it's a fun-filled weekend of paper writing. Ah, but at least Sunday is french toast night. There's always that to rescue my sanity ... or further impair it, knowing the pote...

The moral of the story is don't let an Arby's Beef and Cheddar Sandwich sit for half an hour before eating it. I'm feeling a bit on the loopy side (the front desk people just caught the brunt of it) due to lack of sleep and sustenance. And too much computer time. Which I once again answer by writing in my blog. From a computer. I'm not very smart sometimes. Ah, but it's done in increments. Five minute ones, to be exact. Interrupted by the fact that I'm actually at work. Unfortunately, the interesting level is at an all-time low, as I'm washing glass beads tonight. Yup. You read that right. Washing glass beads. This only means that my dream of sleeping tonight is slowly slipping away. So much homework due on Friday, with so much to do tomorrow ... I may just have to pick which night to sleep and forget about it for the other one. I think I'm well on my way to not sleeping tonight. I've pumped my body so full of caffeine in the last two hours...

Spork and Sarah are married! How weird is that ... The wedding was beautiful, the reception was pretty cool (and the steak was awesome), and now it's back to real life. Actually, the weekend as a whole was beyond psychotic. After work on Friday I headed to Storm to catch Eric for a little while and meet his new girlfriend. I have to say, Eric, she's pretty cool. Maybe it's the math major thing. :) Didn't end up leaving until 2:30 in the morning, at which point it was useless to go to bed. Barb and I left RC at 6:30 to pick up Ashli and head to Iowa for the wedding, and I got a little sleep between Wall and Chamberlain (a little under a two-hour drive). Unfortunately, that was all for the day. Egads. We booked it to SuFu, where we met up with Andy and continued on to Iowa. The wedding was held in the best-looking little town I've ever seen (it was almost frightening), and after the reception we headed back to SuFu for the night. I deserted the other three an...

O sleep! Where did you go? Why did you desert me? What can I do to bring you back? So tired ... Oy. What I wouldn't do for another night of good, long sleep. I actually got one of those this weekend, only to completely nullify it by last night's lack of anything remotely like good sleep. Naturally, since I have to work today. Oh, and just for the record? It rained all night. All night. All. Night. A new occurrence for RC, I believe. Possible cause of Why I Couldn't Sleep. Anyway, during one of my bouts of insomnia, I turned on the television and was reminded of several of the commercials that have bothered me lately. First, the new Juicy Juice tagline -- "The very best juice for the very best kids." Talk about your subconscious guilt trips! After all, if your kids are the best, they need Juicy Juice ... but if they don't have the juice, maybe they're not really the best. (Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to Juicy Juice. Actually, I like the stuff. I just ...

How is it that tonight, the one time I have both the time and exhaustion level to drop like a rock, I can't seem to catch any sleep? Argh. Your drugs aren't working, dude (you know who you are). I am still both conscious AND congested. Grrrrr. (Okay, so it's not your fault, but I'm still frustrated.) So instead, here I am, watching "Aladdin" alone in my room, talking to all you semi-anonymous people again. Finding out (again) that there are actually people out there that read this thing. Could be frightening. Take, for example, this guy from just an hour away, or this other guy from Tennessee. Random people who stumbled in (not sure they'll ever do that again, but hey, if it happened once ...), likely by pushing that little "Next Blog" button in the upper right corner of your screen. I recommend it -- brings some fun little blogs to light. Then, of course, there's the phone call I got about 25 minutes ago, asking for the address, and ...